Understanding Anger
Jul 17, 2016 Elaina Curran
Anger. We have all experienced it, whether it was generated by us…or directed at us. Media coverage predominantly reports stories of anger in its most harmful and destructive form. There is another side, however. A side that is actually useful and potentially beneficial to us as individuals as well as society in general.
From an evolutionary standpoint, anger is an important tool used by our survival-based brain to protect us. It acts as a defence mechanism on the occasions we feel threatened, whether that involves our personal space, possessions, beliefs, loved ones or our self. We also use anger to get what we want as it is effective in changing people’s behaviour. There have been many occasions when I’ve asked my children, repeatedly, to get a job done and nothing happens. I get angry, raise my voice and they respond. Anger = results. Job done.
Primitive man relied on anger to increase his strength in order to defend himself against wild animals or enemy tribesmen. While modern western society has little need of it for our physical survival, anger is useful today if it is channelled the right way. As a motivational tool, anger has prompted positive action, from generating petitions, changing laws, shaping policies, improving quality of life and the creation of charitable organizations, to challenging and pushing ourselves to greater levels of performance.
We are better as a tribe than individuals, so one of the things we must consider when we vent our anger is the cost versus the benefit. If we get carried away by anger, it can undermine future positive interactions, so we walk a fine line between getting a benefit from our actions and incurring great cost. The most valuable skill we can learn in life is when to use anger and when to control it.
Our Primitive Mind is dedicated to our survival and always works within the parameters of anger, anxiety, fear and sadness/depression. When this part of the mind is in control, we tend to:
- react without thinking
- regret our outbursts and actions later
- hurt ourselves and others through our actions
- have trouble sleeping
- keep repeating the cycle
Luckily, we have all the resources within us to find solutions. While the Primitive Mind is a strong influence on our emotions, we also have the benefit of tapping into a vast intellectual resource, the Intellectual Mind. This is the part of the brain where our higher functions are processed such as our ability to reason, rationalize, learn and communicate for example. Many of us can choose to deal with a modicum of anger on our own by channelling it through sports, the Creative Arts, charity work, becoming a campaigner for a cause or through meditation. There are a myriad of possibilities. However, when anger has too much control over our behaviour and is proving harmful to us and others, hypnotherapy can help by lowering overall stress levels and promoting relaxation. When we do this, as well as focusing on solutions and our desired goals, the Intellectual Mind has the opportunity to regain control.
Accept anger, it is a part of being human. If you recognize, however, that it is becoming an overwhelming factor in your day-to-day responses to events and others, you have all the capability and the capacity to change and create a better life.
By Elaina Curran, DSFH, CNHCreg, AfSFHreg
Published in BS35Local Magazine, July 2016 issue